Just tucking into a pickled egg and thought I’d thrash out some more ideas for the Christmas Collection. I actually haven’t got many specifically Christmas themed numbers in there yet, so I’m officially giving myself the proverbial kick up the bottom!
Moreover, it's a rhyming number (I won't mention names but there's been some criticism of my supposed inability to write poems that rhyme. I've said it once, and I'll say it again; I generally write without rhymes not because I can't rhyme but because I feel that they constrict my creativity. So John Gritton from Kent Police website guestbook, take a look at this. Read it and weep my friend...)
Moreover, it's a rhyming number (I won't mention names but there's been some criticism of my supposed inability to write poems that rhyme. I've said it once, and I'll say it again; I generally write without rhymes not because I can't rhyme but because I feel that they constrict my creativity. So John Gritton from Kent Police website guestbook, take a look at this. Read it and weep my friend...)
Christ it’s Christmas! (By Malcolm Head)
'Santa Stop Here' say signs in front gardens,
A mother surrounds the turkey with bacon lardons,
Glynn from Big Brother 7 turns the lights on in Chester,
A large woman cheers, she's come all the way from Leicester!
A mother surrounds the turkey with bacon lardons,
Glynn from Big Brother 7 turns the lights on in Chester,
A large woman cheers, she's come all the way from Leicester!
It’s getting cold, the shops are open til 9,
We’d better get ready for Christmas time…
'Yule Log!' Says Alan, to his dear Wife Sue
'Nonsense' she replies, 'Swiss Roll will do'
'But it's not the same' says Alan again,
He kicks the supermarket trolley, and walks off with disdain
Have you got all your presents? I haven't got mine!
We'd better get ready for Christmas time...
An old-fashioned man chews on a nut,
An unruly child points at his gut,
A War veteran and his Grandson sit and watch Twister,
'This is crap' he says, 'Go get your sister'
The presents laid out, line after line,
We'd better get ready for Christmas time...
Neighbour Martin peers in at the Christmas Day spread,
'Who's he?' says Graham, 'Is he daft in the head?'
'His parents are Jehovahs' replies Uncle Herbert,
'Well shut up the curtains. He's got the face of a pervert'
We'd better get ready for Christmas time...
A tweak here and there and this one's done. A sneak preview of this year's collection. And further proof that John Gritton's nothing but a bitter old fool
'Yule Log!' Says Alan, to his dear Wife Sue
'Nonsense' she replies, 'Swiss Roll will do'
'But it's not the same' says Alan again,
He kicks the supermarket trolley, and walks off with disdain
Have you got all your presents? I haven't got mine!
We'd better get ready for Christmas time...
An old-fashioned man chews on a nut,
An unruly child points at his gut,
A War veteran and his Grandson sit and watch Twister,
'This is crap' he says, 'Go get your sister'
The presents laid out, line after line,
We'd better get ready for Christmas time...
Neighbour Martin peers in at the Christmas Day spread,
'Who's he?' says Graham, 'Is he daft in the head?'
'His parents are Jehovahs' replies Uncle Herbert,
'Well shut up the curtains. He's got the face of a pervert'
We'd better get ready for Christmas time...
A tweak here and there and this one's done. A sneak preview of this year's collection. And further proof that John Gritton's nothing but a bitter old fool
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