Boot Sale

Evening All!

Just got back from a Car Boot Sale in West-Malling and am supping on a well-deserved large cup of ovaltine as I type! Went over with my neighbour Trevor. He didn't have anything to sell himself but just came along for the ride. Said he wasn't in the market for anything. Famous last words! Ended up buying himself Neil Diamond's greatest hits and Dunston Checks In on VHS! Didn't offer any money for petrol though, which was dissapointing. It's not the money itself, it's the principle. Especially given the large inheritance he's just picked up following his mother's death. God rest her soul. But other than that and the comical prices for a bacon sandwich (£4!) it was a terrific day.
But it did get me thinking... have boot sales, or rather, boot sale sales, been affected by the recession? On the basis of what I saw at West-Malling today, I'd be a damned fool if I didn't say yes.

I've started drafting a poem on the subject. Here's what I've got so far:

A boot in the face (By Malcolm Head)

A man with a large birth-mark on his face. I recognise him,
Seller of novelty hats and caps. Happy-go-lucky,
Or at least he was,
'It's at least 3 pound for the Ayrton Senna cap' he says, scowling at a bearded customer,
'I could buy a brand spanker for 4! You must think I was born yesterday' replies the customer
'4 for a brand new Ayrton! World's gone mad' says the birth-marked seller, shaking his head.

It's tough out there...

'How much for the dog?' asks a man with a lazy eye to another seller,
'Ted's not for sale' says the seller dismissively, rubbing Ted's moist chin,
'There's a price for everything. How much?' He asks again
'I'm not selling Ted. I'm selling Jigsaws and board games sir. Boggle?'
'Name your price...'
'Fine. 350...'
'Ha. Too much. Thanks anyway' says the man, and he trots away
The seller's wife approaches her husband, distressed
'I can't believe you'd sell Ted. He's a thoroughbred'

It's tough out there...


Like I say, a work in progress. Needs tightening. But heck Rome wasn't built in a day. It was effectively built over several hundred years. This just needs another couple of verses. It won't quite be Rome, but it might just make my Christmas anthology, which incidentally, will be out on December 12th, and available in the following Stores:

Mace in Tonbridge
SnackAttack in Groombridge
Bargain Booze in Pembury
Dillons Newsagent in Paddock Wood

Bye for now folks, and wrap up warm! Gordon Bennett it's getting colder by the day!