Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Tour, Christmas, New Year, Ideas...

Hello friends. It's been a while since I've blogged. This is the result of three factors

1) The tour with Paul Foot
2) An unprecedented boost in admissions at the museum
3) A self-imposed (and evidently failed) technology boycott

But I'm back.

The tour was a success. Highlights were undoubtedly performing underneath a library in Eastbourne, and perforing in Barton-on-Humber, a town I was hitherto unaware of, but had all the charm of isolated Northern towns that we all know and love. There was joy. There was laughter. There was silence. But most of all, there was much to be learnt, and it was a great privilege to read my poetry to audiences across this great nation

I will be reading more poetry in the near future at various venues - and will keep you abrest of that in due course.

In other news, it is of course Christmas, and will soon be 2012 - the year in which according to some, everything will end. Needless to say, I hope this is not the case. I've got enough on my plate without an apocalypse!!!!

Now... whilst I've been performing a set of my 'classics' on tour ('Knopfler', 'Swimming Pool', 'Fluffballs the Homophobic Cat', 'Hell', and occasionally my poem about pensions - 'Worry Now'), a few new ideas have been brewing. They're yet to materialise, but I thought I might mention a few now...

1) Vorderman - a poem about the pros and cons of Carol Vorderman, a very complicated woman, most probably called 'Vorderman'. On the plus side, she's as articulate a woman as you're likely to meet. And incredible with numbers. On the down side, she has, in my view, dressed inappropriately for a woman of her age later in life. But she is, undoubtedly, a very attractive woman. This poem would explore her ups and downs so to speak, and try to come to some sort of a conclusion as to whether she should be seen in a positive or negative light

2) 'On The Buses' - A written project, but still one I would hope to perform, in which I would listen to and transcribe a large number of conversations had on regional/local buses and London buses, with a view to comparing them. I hope that this project may, in some small way, shed some light on the differences in the nature and personality of 'The Londoner'.

3) 'A List of Wars' - This is not something to be performed, nor anything I particularly need to publish within this blog. It's just a reminder. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while - a list of every War I can think of, chronologically if possible, without encyclopaedic assistance.

4) 'Kent V Sussex' - This is a TV show I've been thinking of for a while. The basic premise is looking at Kent and Sussex, and judging which county is better based on certain criteria, i.e. gardens (Kent), oldest buildings (close but Kent again), number of current, nationally-recognised sports-people (definitely Kent), quality of coastal resorts (too close to call but if I had a gun to my head I'd say Kent) etc...

5) 'Underrated cricketers' - basically a poem about underrated cricketers. We're talking Robert Croft, Alex Tudor, Matthew Maynard, Ian Salisbury, Chris Martin, Arjuna Ranatunga, Mark Ealham and many, many more. It's really an attempt to finally give the voiceless cricketers a voice

6) 'Supermarkets' - A poem about which British supermarkets are the best in Britain and why, taking into account price, value for money, quality, and whether or not it tends to be linked with child labour or not.

7) 'Kilroy' - A poem about Robert Kilroy-Silk. A poetic look at his career, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yes he is racially inappropriate at times, but he was an excellent TV presenter. Lest we forget that

Have a terrific Christmas and an even better new year!

As Kilroy would say, take care of yourselves... and each other

All the best

M

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